{"product_id":"witness-protection","title":"Witness Protection","description":"\u003cp\u003eA new name.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA new identity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe exact same problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAfter entering the Witness Protection Program, one hopeful hog arrives with a new wardrobe, a new mustache, new paperwork, and a fresh start. Unfortunately, the program administrator quickly identifies a flaw in the plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\"You're still a pig.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhat follows is perhaps the shortest relocation interview in agricultural history.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWitness Protection is a fan-favorite entry in the Pig Chronicles Collection, blending dark farm humor, government bureaucracy satire, and the inescapable realities of livestock life into one unforgettable design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFrom the fake identities and relocation paperwork to the program brochures and less-than-encouraging office signage, every detail is loaded with hidden jokes and classic Sláinte Farms storytelling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBecause changing your name is easy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eChanging your species is harder.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e• Premium die-cut vinyl sticker\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e• Weather-resistant and durable\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e• Perfect for coolers, water bottles, smokers, pellet grills, toolboxes, laptops, vehicles, feed bins, and farm equipment\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e• Original Sláinte Farms artwork\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e• Great gift for farmers, ranchers, homesteaders, pork producers, barbecue enthusiasts, and lovers of dark farm humor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e• Guaranteed to start conversations and earn double-takes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePart of the Pig Chronicles Collection from Sláinte Farms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSláinte Farms\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIrish Roots. Pirate Spirit. Honest Food.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNew Name. Same Problem.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Sláinte Farms","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51921677418784,"sku":"PC-022","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1007\/1434\/8832\/files\/Witness_20Protection.png?v=1782704797","url":"https:\/\/shop.slaintefarms.com\/products\/witness-protection","provider":"Slainte Farms","version":"1.0","type":"link"}