{"product_id":"egg-efficiency-egg-cartel","title":"Egg Efficiency","description":"\u003cp\u003eBecause apparently chickens need quarterly performance reviews now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Department of Egg Efficiency sticker from the Sláinte Farms MegaMart Resistance Collection is a satirical look at what happens when corporate management discovers farming.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eArmed with spreadsheets, performance metrics, and a complete misunderstanding of how nature works, the Department of Egg Efficiency is determined to maximize output, minimize individuality, and optimize breakfast one miserable chicken at a time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMeanwhile, the chickens have a different opinion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA hilarious parody of corporate bureaucracy, industrial agriculture, endless KPI meetings, and the obsession with efficiency over common sense, this design is perfect for farmers, chicken keepers, office workers, managers, and anyone who has ever sat through a meeting that should have been an email.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOfficial Efficiency Mandates: ☘️ More Eggs\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e☘️ Less Space\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e☘️ Less Sunlight\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e☘️ Less Fun\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e☘️ More Reports\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eResistance Position: ☘️ Chickens Are Not Machines\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e☘️ Nature Is Not A Spreadsheet\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e☘️ Local Farms Over Factory Farms\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e☘️ Real Food Over Corporate Food\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for laptops, water bottles, coolers, office desks, chicken coops, toolboxes, and anywhere bureaucratic nonsense deserves a little mockery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSláinte Farms\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIrish Roots. Pirate Spirit. Honest Food.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFeatures\u003cbr\u003e\n• Premium die-cut vinyl sticker\u003cbr\u003e\n• Durable, weather-resistant construction\u003cbr\u003e\n• Great for coolers, water bottles, laptops, toolboxes, vehicles, farm equipment, and outdoor gear\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Sláinte Farms","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51921672044832,"sku":"EC-004","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1007\/1434\/8832\/files\/Egg_20Efficiency.png?v=1782704731","url":"https:\/\/shop.slaintefarms.com\/products\/egg-efficiency-egg-cartel","provider":"Slainte Farms","version":"1.0","type":"link"}